Do you know someone who’s always pulling practical jokes? You know the type — coffee mug switchers, prank callers, people who stealthily tape signs saying “Kick Me Hard” on somebody’s back? Help this bringer of light, joy, and hospital bills up their gag game with one of these super-priced, hilarious, morale-boosting practical joke gifts.
In the beginning | Practical Joker Starter Kit
Know someone who’s eager to start a long, fruitful career in practical joking but doesn’t know where to begin? Give them this collection of nine “classic” pranks as soon as they get their training wheels removed. It’s got everything they’ll need to make family gatherings, parties, and city council meetings erupt in laughter, sweet laughter: a rubber-tip pencil, a bug ice cube, a fake cigar, a squirt lighter, the omnipresent fart cushion, and more.
Don’t settle for imitations | FunFamz The Original Spider Prank Box
Nowadays you can’t go anywhere without running into yet another spider prank box from some fly-by-night, pop-up company. But this is no run-of-the-mill spider prank box made from flimsy materials. It’s the FunFamz spider prank box — the original spider prank box. You know how other spider prank boxes are put together with cheap plywood? Not the FunFamz spider prank box. It’s made from solid pine, with a furniture grade finish, a decorative handle, and — this is crucial — a lifetime guarantee. If it ain’t a FunFamz spider prank box, it’s just an ordinary box with a fake spider inside.
The ultimate fake-out | Prank Pack
This is an exercise in cruelty that fortunately has a happy ending. The Prank Pack is just an empty gift box that promises a gift that nobody in their right mind wants — say, a 12,000-piece jigsaw puzzle of an empty sky, an earwax candle kit, or a “cheese printer,” whatever that is. But once they open the box, they see that you’ve actually given them something they really want, like jewelry, a smartphone, expensive clothes, or something along those lines. It’s a clever gift-wrapping ploy, unless of course they were really looking forward to getting a cheese printer.
Chick army | Sumind Slingshot Rubber Chicken 16-Pack
Dang it! We’re out of slingshot rubber chickens again? I swear we had one left the other day! What am I going to fling around the room now? Paper cups? Orange peels? Food wrappers? Grandpa? Sheesh. You know, I could have avoided this nightmare scenario if only I’d gotten the Sumind Slingshot Rubber Chicken 16-pack. I could have had a full stash of slingshot rubber chickens. I could have accidentally shot one out of an eighth-story window, but it would have been okay because I’d have 15 more nearby. I think we’ve all learned something very valuable today.
All the classics in one package | Schylling Joke Box
This joke box is specially designed for the retro-hip practical jokester. It’s got several all-time classic props for timeless pranks: bad teeth, fake vomit, a squirt ring, a joy buzzer, fake dog excrement, a floating eyeball, a fake bloodied finger, and of course — it almost goes without mentioning — a whoopee cushion. The Schylling Joke Box is sure to win its bearers a happy, fulfilled life full of friends who appreciate their physical humor and would never get annoyed with them.
A pickle that yodels | Yodeling Pickle
The minute this pickle heard its first yodel, it finally understood its purpose. It looked around at the empty bumps on all the other pickles in the jar. “This just isn’t for me,” the pickle said. It then traveled to the Swiss Alps where it scaled the Matterhorn to prove its worthiness. Finally, it spent three grueling years learning how to yodel from a bearded mystic. Its tutoring complete, the pickle has now returned to civilization, where it’s eager to become the only yodeling pickle you will ever let in your house.
Stop, what’s that sound? | Frickin’ Cricket
Simply drop the Frickin’ Cricket — actually just a flat, battery-powered plastic container with a sound generator — in a hidden spot somewhere in your target’s home or office. Within a few minutes, it will start chirping. Your target will search for it. They’ll get annoyed when they can’t find it. Soon that annoyance will turn into desperation, confusion, and deep questioning about what your target believes to be real. Then you’ll burst into the room, reveal the Frickin’ Cricket, and you’ll both enjoy a good, hearty laugh because humor brings friends together. Your results may vary.
Do, or do not — there is no try | Useless Box
The Useless Box has inspired quite the cult following. For the uninitiated, it’s a box with an on-off switch on top. When you flick it into the “on” position, a mechanical finger emerges from beneath a panel and flicks the switch back into the “off” position. Over and over and over again. Proving that no idea is too rudimentary not to run into the ground, some people have built their own, customized Useless Boxes with multiple switches and smarter mechanical arms. You can find their exploits on YouTube if you’re looking for quick validation of your life choices.
Use as directed | Dehydrated Water
This is a can full of water that’s been dehydrated. That makes it more lightweight and portable than a can full of regular water. To make this water drinkable, you simply add water. And that’s just the beginning of the philosophical wormhole you’re about to dive into. You’ll soon be thrust into a world where existence is a construct and fantasy is the only truth. You’ll grapple with what is and isn’t real. We’re talking some serious Matrixand Inception type stuff here. Use this product correctly and you’ll emerge in a higher state of consciousness. Or, you know, not.
Truth in advertising | Nothing
Finally, for the practical joker who has everything, here is Nothing. Or, as its manufacturers brag, “the ultimate in minimalism.” It’s a plastic ball surrounding by cardboard packaging bearing many words, a few of them misspelled. We’re assured there’s a joke in here somewhere, but we’re not going to look too hard for it. We’re just going to sit back, relax, and enjoy some dehydrated water.